INHALE SMOKE, EXHALE VAPOR

filed by L

At the time of this writing, the Spies are in a 3-way tie for the 3rd spot in the Underbracket. At the end of the season, third-from-last will go to the semifinals, fourth-from-last will go to the wild card round, and fifth-from-last have a 50% chance to avoid the playoffs entirely. The Plan has some careful numerology to do if it’s aiming for a specific outcome. In the last two Immaterial Plane weeks and two Immaterial Plane days, the Spies have won 8 games and lost 12.

Item by Item

Although the ILB is fairly safe from consumers this season thanks to Wyatt Glover keeping the noodle at the bottom of the charts, the Spies are still making a good showing of building their plot armor back up with items. Alexandria Rosales stole some Hearty Lucky Shoes from Domino Bootleg. At the end of the game, a telegram addressed to them arrived from Charleston. They laughed heartily before shredding it. Math Velazquez gained some Frosty Socks from the Community Chest. Salmon kindly fixed Paula Mason’s bat and Denzel’s wedding ring. 

In other Item news, the Fifth Base remains a wonderful agent of chaos. Flattery McKinley picked it up and put it down twice in the same game. It briefly visited the Gym in Tokyo. Now it’s moved Kathy Mathews from the Breckenridge Jazz hands to the Boston Flowers. It’s like having a little piece of election-day unpredictability firing off throughout the season.

Covert Itineraries

Math Velazquez took Math’s new socks to the Shadows, calling in Aoife Mahle. The voicemail has now been thoroughly tested by the newest and oldest Spies, and other Agents may now be authorized to try it out in the future.

Commissioner Vapor has been expelled. Somehow, their portable live-streaming setup is still connected, though we have yet to decode what is coming through. 

Fitzgerald Blackburn, who was expelled on day 72 last season, returned on day 41 of this season. I’m required by Agency policy to note that this makes exactly 69 games. Nice.