filed by Agent O
Congratulations to the Moab Hellmouth Sunbeams for winning the Season 2 Internet Series! Wait, what do you mean they weren’t supposed to be there?
The Intern Al’s Error
Due to a bug interference during the seeding of the semifinals, the Moab Hellmouth Sunbeams (Awful Good) switched places with the Yellowstone Magic (Chaotic Evil) – thus meaning that the Boston Flowers won what was intended to be the Good semifinals bracket, and the Moab Hellmouth Sunbeams won what was intended to be the Evil semifinals bracket.
The devs concluded that trying to fix this would break things more than they were already broken, so Facts Machine just straight-up said that the Moab Hellmouth Sunbeams were the Evil League champions due to “INTERNAL ERROR”. If this means that “INTERNAL ERROR” is going to be an Entity…
Sunbeams fans are now chortling about an “evil arc”, and some are now claiming that they sniped the Evil spot in the playoffs for themselves specifically so that they could play the Boston Flowers again. Wild Low is eternal.
When asked for comment on this uhhhh… incident, the Commissioner said only “makes sense to me”.
During the Finals
Özlem Suttner – a player cursed with Can’t Lose – switched to the winning team all the way to the finals; there was unfortunately no interesting result.
The once-legendary but now comfortably mediocre batter Jessica Telephone has turned out to be a surprisingly good fielder for the Boston Flowers. Instead, the Flowers’ star batter is Zack Sanders, a player who began life on the Moab Hellmouth Sunbeams and ended up playing against his birth team; though the Flowers are well pleased to have Sanders, whose lore involves being a sunflower-person.
This did not stop aforementioned Flowers from being beaten in the first, second, and fourth games of this Internet Series; ultimately the Moab Hellmouth Sunbeams’ genuinely terrifying batting put them on top. Batting Boost is heavily contested and this is why.
The Moab Hellmouth Sunbeams received their notarized Golden Record (71-19) with a comment of “NEVER ESTIMATE THE BEAMS!”
Some Comments On Voting
For everyone, not just the Spies, I have a few comments about voting:
Voting briefly broke earlier today; it was put back together, so if you encountered that bug you can try again now.
Slugger Orb confirmed this week in blaseball-questions that teams can win 1 blessing at most… “until you see anything that communicates otherwise.”
Note that you will receive your usual Universal Bets and Influence allowance on Sunday morning; do spend those votes if you can.
!@#$ Around And Find Out
So here’s The Plan to attempt to receive a second Strike. We vote for Knight Strike, thus Shadowing a single player on another Division team, in case us hitting another team gives us a Strike. And then we hope that other teams in our Division vote for the other Strikes, in case they hit us, and if so in case them hitting us gives us a strike instead. This is a lot of maybes and assumptions, several of which are actually contradictory. We can only hope that at least one of them works out. Thus: Knight Strike.
While Bard Strike polled almost exactly as well as Knight Strike, it is advantageous for strategic reasons to pick only one. Know, though, that this was basically a coinflip.
We may have gotten the first Strike on a wimdy (Agent Swirlin has put up and is monitoring a weathervane), but if we’re already here, we may as well gather some intelligence.
Let’s see what happens. It’s not like winning even a really good Blessing will put us anywhere near contention anyway.