Categories
Debriefings

A MOMENT OF RESPITE

filed by Agent π

Happy postseason, everyone! Even though the Spies didn’t qualify for either the Under- or Overbracket, anticipation is still brewing about which teams will get to add a coveted dot to their information page, not to mention the Exhibition Match and Election right around the corner. Over the past unknowable unit of time, we have won 9 games and lost 10.

The Postseason

As mentioned previously, the Houston Spies didn’t perform well enough to compete for the Championship, didn’t perform poorly enough to have a shot at the Underchampionship, and didn’t get lucky? enough to Wildcard into either. However, considering the current state of affairs, this may as well be a blessing in disguise. The Spies recently plunged into a Credit Rating of Low A, putting players at risk of Consumer Attacks; and with several players especially eager to Flicker (or Fliickerrr) onto teams at the slightest opportunity, perhaps the relative safety of Party Time will serve to keep our team in one piece for Season 24.

The Canada Moist Talkers are the only team with a guaranteed opportunity to Evolve come a victory in the Overbracket (having 2 championships of a single type and being in the running for another of said championship this Postseason). However, enough teams with two championships total across both brackets are vying for a third (or sixth, in the case of the Mechanics) that we may very well get an answer to the age-old question: Does whatever entity in charge of overseeing Evolution care if a team’s group of 3 dots is made up of different colors?

Miscellaneous Lateseason Occurrences

As is typical in Blaseball, several different interesting things happened during the latter part of the Lateseason, some being good, some being bad, and some being ugly:

  • Beloved players Gunther O’Brian of the Charleston Shoe Thieves and Helga Moreno of the San Francisco Lovers were tragically incinerated, both happening primarily as a result of becoming Unstable from Silvare Roadhouse’s Debt. Both will be dearly missed, but the Blaseball Commissioner has made it clear that whatever balance taken out in reforming the Flinch modification is still in fact outstanding.
  • On Day 95, Spears Rogers and Famous Owens swapped places twice between the Hades Tigers and the Breckenridge Jazz Hands (Spears being Fliickerrriiing from a Potion acquired from the Gift Shop), along with Walton Sports and the Flickering Siobhan Chark swapping once. While the teams themselves may have been taken aback after the game concluded, the players themselves weren’t, having enjoyed a 5-to-10% boost thanks to an LCD Soundsystem installed in The Pocket.
  • After spending a whole 10 seasons Elsewhere and in the Shadows, Neerie McCloud (or, as they are known now, ‑‑‑‑‑‑ ‑‑‑‑‑‑‑) of the Atlantis Georgias has returned to play after being Faxed back onto the active roster after Day 92 and finding their way back to the rest of the team during Day 97. Evidently, she may need a bit of time to warm back up, as Neerie proceeded to hit nothing but fly- and ground outs for the remainder of that game.
  • Our Chet Takahashi stole a Squiddish Smokey Wooden Egg of Strength from Adalberto Tosser of the Boston Flowers- just one day before pitching in a Solar Eclipse. Despite this ominous foreshadowing, however, all of the players in that game managed to stay intact.
  • With the threat of Parker MacMillan leaving the vault looming, Fans used the Idol Board to their advantage, putting Agan Espinoza and Dunlap Figueroa onto the Rising Stars team in the hopes of preventing catastrophe. While the former will hopefully help protect said Rising Stars from Instability should Parker leave the Vault, the latter’s Fifth Base will hopefully be a durable-enough trinket for New Megan Ito to consider grabbing over The Force Field. In similar circumstances, Paula Turnip of the Tigers was made Legendary, hopefully the last Vaulting of the Expansion Era.

The Library

And finally, it would be impossible not to mention an unexpected visit from the Reader that coincided with 2 new books being revealed in the Root section of the Library:

touch down
special teams
tumbleweed sounds

Our very own Agent Pony is currently investigating Season α and the unusually vague descriptions of what occurred during it, with results currently pending. I’d encourage you to use Pickled Herring to assist in the un-redaction effort if you had any to spare, but trust me when I say: The Fans were quite quick to the punch on this one.

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