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Debriefings

THE ELEVENTH HOUR

filed by Agent Ю

Good timezone, agents. The Agency is an eerie calm before the inevitable anniversarial/semicentennial storm. The Spies, free from the obligation to play in the postseason, have been planning and strategizing. It all ends? Begins anew? soon.

Spit and Spells

Playoffs were relatively uneventful (barring one complication that will be explained later), and ultimately the Yellowstone Magic became this season’s Underchampions and the Canada Moist Talkers this season’s Overchampions. This marks the Moist Talkers’ third Overchampionship, meaning that the team is expected to evolve at some point before the start of the next season. At the time of this debrief’s publishing we don’t yet know what the Talkers’ evolution will actually do but presumably it will be aquatic and/or gross in nature.

Empty Promises

The Forbidden Book promises that the bottom four performing teams in the regular season will be granted an extra Will in that season’s election.

Wills are not available for voting in this season’s election.

Nonetheless, teams have been awarded the Free Wills, but it is unclear what if anything they will do seeing as even those with Cheeseboards on the four relevant teams cannot access the (missing) Wills section of the election page.

The Wild Wings Legal Team is already preparing for a second lawsuit. Where the trial would be held is a mystery given that the venue for the Millenials’ and Firefighters’ first lawsuits has been burned to the ground, but we’ll be monitoring the situation and will report anything we learn.

Night Falls

During a playoffs match between the Kansas City Breath Mints and Yellowstone Magic, the league experienced a weather type heretofore never seen since the return of Blaseball: Night. We might not know the full extent of what Night weather does yet, but we do know that it does one thing: it swaps an active player for a shadowed player within the same team. As you can see in this screenshot, previously shadowed Magic player Kirkland Sobremesa switched places with previously active Magic batter Bevan Wise.

Kirkland received a sizable stat boost as part of “clocking in” for Bevan, and Bevan received the usual shadows entry boost on his way into the deep darkness. This, on its own, is interesting. But the most important thing about Night weather is:

The roster change persisted after the end of the match.

Shadow players now have a chance (albeit a low random chance within a low random chance) of returning topside with no resources required. Agents were understandably disappointed that this ideal method for escape became available only after agent Donia Bailey was sent undercover to the Sunbeams, but ultimately we are cautiously optimistic that they will return to active play eventually. At that point, her true purpose for braving her way into the Hellmouth may become clear.

We expect to see some amount of Night weather next season assuming the league survives the semicentennial, but whether nightfall will be common like Flooding or very rare like Glitter is totally unknown. As always, agents, trust in the Plan to provide. If an undercover agent clocks in and we’re able to take advantage of a future Will or feedback, we might be able to help our agents come home. For what it’s worth, the Sunbeams in particular will happily support our efforts to recover agent Bailey.

Where There’s No Will…

As a reminder: Wills are gone for the foreseeable future. Even those who have purchased Cheeseboards from Agent The Monitor’s snack shop are unable to access the Wills subscreen on the Election page. This has considerably simplified our election strategizing, much to the dismay of fans hoping to facilitate the return of Agents Bailey, Velazquez, and Kerfuffle. But no amount of frustration will keep the Spies from doing what we do best- planning and acting on those plans. Full election briefings are in development and are expected to be released soon.

The Rising Stars and Legends’ rosters have been assembled. The gods of Blaseball are preparing a field of play. The Coin, The Monitor, and presumably The Reader are ready to make Blaseball history. Agent Commissioner Vapor, who has temporarily? It’s unclear left the Spies’ roster, will be part of that history. We wish him and the entire league luck in facing the future. We can only hope that we don’t need that luck in order to survive.

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