Hello, Agents. Over the last unknowable unit of time we have won 9 games and lost 15. This puts us at the absolute bottom of the Wild Low division. Are we headed towards party time after all?
It Was Part of the Plan All Along
We were initially extremely confused by the trade of Fitzgerald Blackburn for Yeong-Ho Garcia, owing to it being another extremely tiny wimdy chance that we hadn’t heard about.
Someone then came into our chat, claiming to have purposefully fluted over to dump all their votes into a retaliatory trade of our favorite, apparently as a reaction to our accidental borrowing of Knight Triumphant. The Lovers confirmed that they had no knowledge of this, denouncing the saboteur as being a single disgruntled rogue actor who defied all their messaging. (I trust that story. From what I’ve seen, the rest of the Lovers have all been extremely supportive and understanding. And remember that the original trade for Knight Triumphant was also a small-chance wimdy.)
However, after some analysis, we found that this was, if anything, a better outcome than the outcome we originally intended:
- By disrupting our original plan to trade Jordan Hildebert for August Sky, this prevented us from being sniped by the Breckenridge Jazz Hands’ successful trade for August Sky, which would have put Holden Stanton into our pitching rotation.
- Unlike many teams who rely on a single star player, we have several of roughly equal importance, so this is not a complete gutting of our team.
- We have acquired the valuable intel that pitchers can return from Elsewhere just as well as batters can, despite pitchers being unable to be swept away.
- Yeong-Ho Garcia is a perfectly respectable and competent player in his own right.
- We now have the chance to swap Fitz into a pitching or batting position, depending on what the Agency supercomputers our statheads say we’ll need. And Fitz is a very good pitcher, too. They could rival our very own Alexandria Rosales if given the chance.
- It has, if anything, strengthened our partnership with the Lovers.
So, in the end, this alleged “saboteur” has played directly into our hands.
This was part of the plan all along.
From the Elsewhere
There is some speculation that the specific letters missing from people’s names when they are Scattered are supposed to spell out some sort of ciphertext or message. I shall leave that speculation to people who know anything at all about cryptography.
Anyway. Denzel Scott returned immediately as I posted the previous post.
Comfort Septemberish has also returned, though rather more Scattered than usual. They insist that there is a Waffle House in the Elsewhere. Nobody else has any idea what they’re talking about.
Meanwhile, on the Lovers, Fitzgerald Blackburn has finally found their way back, and is slowly recovering from their disemvoweling. Perhaps, in Immaterial Plane terms, they may have been traded away specifically to help them recover emotionally from their struggle to process Teddy’s loss.
I’ve heard that the Lovers initially had to put Fitz in a tub so as to make sure they didn’t lose form whenever they stopped concentrating, so that they could rest? Also, they are reportedly having multi-hour-long video calls with the other Spies. It’s very sweet, really.
Those are all rumors, but there is one thing we know for sure:
The very first game Fitz pitched was a shutout.
Because Operation Nullpark was scrapped, we immediately began sinking coins into stadium customization and renovation. Please see our Discord channels for more specific information on which to choose, if you are one of our Agents, but there is one piece of advice which I will make public:
Each renovation costs four times as much as the previous. During this cycle, buying one renovation is one million coins, and buying the second is four million coins. The third would be 16 million, and the fourth would be 64 million. This exponential explosion means that sinking coins into the stadium is just not worth it past the second renovation; after that, coins are far better spent building more passive income options and saving up for votes.
More renovations will be available next cycle, though at a slightly increased cost per level – reports from the Crabs are that the next round’s first renovation actually cost 1.5 million coins. Wait for those.
We have plans within plans, backup plans, backup plans for the backup plans, and we prioritize long-term strategy and sustainability that will serve us well for many seasons to come.
In the end, remember that whatever happens is all part of the Plan.
In the end, remember that Spies win.