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Debriefings

THE HAUNTED CAVE CLAUSE

filed by Agent O
audio version

Our Internet League Blaseball champions for Season 19 are the Tokyo Lift! Congratulations.

Once-Rivals

The Seattle Garages were once our rivals. But today we send our congratulations and our condolences in equal measure – because they have had a Time, recently.

A core member and one of their favorites, Sparks Beans, was incinerated during the quarterfinals. The team is shattered. Also, Beans’ replacement, Lenjamin Zhuge, is… bad. 2.6 stars in batting, and less than 1 star in everything else.

Throughout the postseason, their best players kept getting swept Elsewhere.

They made it to the Internet Series finals. Where they lost. For the fourth time.

Eventually Terrell Bradley gave up ten runs, and was faxed in exchange for Nolanestophia Patterson. In the ninth inning. Of the final game.

The final score of that final game was a 10-to-1 beatdown, and the 1 wasn’t even a run they scored, it was just Home Field Advantage.

Do You Even Lift?

Despite a disadvantage of ten seasons less experience, the Tokyo Lift have fought their way to the very top.

This victory was also aided by the extreme efficacy of Hype Train. I really hope they tone Hype down a bit. For example, we got shamed by the Georgias in the first three games of this season, and that Hype pretty much carried them across a dozen or more home games.

The Anchor is probably going to invoke the Haunted Cave Clause of his contract and – like with the Sunbeams in Season 11 – refuse to acknowledge the validity of this championship ring in his next recap. Which… is technically something he can do, yes.

As far as I’m concerned, though, if the game mechanics say it’s a win, then it’s a win.

Plans

Detailed voting instructions – a flowchart, really – can be found here. This is just the voting instructions I enclosed yesterday, but with more precise numbers on it.

Our position at the very bottom of the bracket – which would have been the very top of the bracket, in an age before – is why we got three Wills in the first place. It demonstrates, again, that Spies are one of the best teams around.

So no matter which of the Decrees passes, as long as our Wills don’t go wrong, spies are in a perfect position to unwin.

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