filed by Agent J
Welcome back to the Cultural Event of Blaseball, agent. Over the past unknowable unit of time we have won 4 games and lost 2. As is usual for the start of a new Era, there are many new and notable developments. Also bugs.
The Squid In The Tutorial
The Squid, after quitting its job at the end of the last Era, has taken up a new three-dimensional form and job explaining the basics to new players. No accounts from the last Era appear to be saved at this time: all accounts appear to have been started from scratch, each with 50 votes and 500 chips. The Squid explains the basics of how the site works, betting, picking teams, and elections.
Before play began, the Black Hole appeared. Several messages were observed by Spies Agents on the ground.
WAKE UP PLAY BALL WAKE UP PLAY BALL WAKE UP PLAY BALL
“Wake up play ball” repeated in intensity until the Black Hole disappeared. Then,
EXPOSITION INCOMING […]
BLASEBALL CAUGHT IN A STATE OF SUPERPOSITION
ALL NEW BLASEBALL IS CALLED
And with an “OFFICIALS CALLED”, play began.
Oddly, the Blaseball Commissioner was renamed the Alternate Blaseball Commissioner the moment this occurred. I suppose an official
‘s alternate was indeed called.
Play… For 15 Minutes
After this, play began. All teams show up at once on the Live Feed in a block format of a three by four grid. (One’s favorite team is not currently pinned to the top, as was previously true in both Beta and Short Circuits.) The only weather type shown was Horizon. The Seattle Garages scored the first run of the new Blaseball.
The site was creaking and protesting underneath the load, and so a siesta was called.
After a short siesta, play resumed on the same game. Observing the games revealed that the positions of the pitcher and batter for the Moab Hellmouth Sunbeams and the Philly Pies, as well as the top and bottom of the inning, swapped places rapidly. Many joked that the Piebeams were having a party to celebrate. The schedule and betting were still broken, and play continued (extremely slowly, in some cases) until a spillover: a game that lasted until the :30 of the next hour.
The Black Hole Burps (More)
During the first game between the Atlanta Georgias and Dallas Steaks, the Black Hole [BURP]’d and Alexander Horne crashed onto the field. Observing both teams, it appears Horne did not end up on the active roster of either team.
Other crashes include:
- Jasper Destiny onto the Garages/Worms game.
- Theodore Honeywell onto the Fridays/Garages game.
It has also been revealed that players can fall into other players, knocking them out of their position on the team. Kaj Murphy fell into Natha Spruce of the Tokyo Lift and knocked Spruce out of the Lineup. Murphy has taken Spruce’s place, and Spruce is nowhere to be seen.
The Black Hole Continues
After another [BURP] from the Black Hole, the following transmission was intercepted.
Once this announcement faded, fans were able to see player star stats. Batting, Pitching, Defense, Running, and Vibes were shown, along with the overall Star total.
Messages From The Void
On the site under the Messages tab, various messages have been sent throughout the Material Plane day, each from a different source. The first was from the Game Band, welcoming everyone back to play ball. Another was from @monitor and remarked that “things seem different”.
A messenger going by the name of @facts_machine gave information about how betting works and said “Risk is a Virtue!”, as well as providing the modern alternative to begging: UBI.
Lose all your Chips? Don’t worry! Thanks to Universal Bets and Influence, all Fans receive more Chips and Votes daily, at Noon eastern, 9am pacific!
Agents have determined that this may be one of the Crates, as the profile picture of the account shares the characteristic tiny triangle in the corner of each face.
All messages in full can be found on the site itself.
Old New Decrees
An Emergency Alert shook the immaterial plane as yet another Belch was detected from the Black Hole.
The Redistribute Wealth Decree became available. This decree is one that failed to pass in Season 1 (though slightly changed) and says that “At the end of every Season, the Champion will trade away all of their Players.”
It may be possible that more failed decrees from past seasons will crop up. It could be that successful decrees will reappear as well. And it could well be possible that we may receive season 1’s two other decrees, Relegation and Open the Forbidden Book…
As per usual Agents: waiting until later in the week to vote is highly recommended. More informed choices can be made once more of our performance is seen.