Good morning, afternoon, and night.

Our work within the Internet Blaseball League continues as planned. Over the past 24 hours, we have completed 11 successful missions and regrettably lost 13 of them. Everything is proceeding according to plan.

On Day 16 of Season 6, the Houston Spies shamed the Boston Flowers in a 5 – 2 game. Our condolences to the Flowers for this embarrassment and also the unfortunate incineration of Caligula Lotus, which we had no involvement in and cannot be blamed for.

Agent Collins Melon has transferred to the Breckenridge Jazz Hands after a Feedback event during Day 40. We can neither confirm nor deny that Comfort Septemberish has joined the Spies in return. A celebratory ice cream cake will be served in the second conference room at HQ at 15:00.

Thank you, agents. Please burn after reading. Remember, we could be you, we could be me.

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