Hello, fellow spies.
Despite some setbacks, our work in the Blaseball League continues as planned. Our seven successes to our eighteen losses are part of our larger strategy. If your clearance levels are not high enough to understand our grand strategy, perhaps you ought to consider that rather than making baseless accusations about the Spies being “bad” or “inept” or “cursed by the Blaseball gods.”
In other developments, a feedback event on day 51 has lead to a shakeup in our roster. Andrew Solis has been deployed on a deep cover mission to the New York Millennials. Do not mourn; all spies return home in their time. On an unrelated note, counseling is available from 15:00 to 16:00 tomorrow in office 134.
We welcome Agent Valentine Games back from the cold.
Thank you, spies, for your unquestionable loyalty to the cause. Remember what we do with the disloyal: we feed them to the sharks in the HQ swimming pool.