Season 23 Tuesday: The Spies’ statistics are incredibly weird. We discover that Parker MacMillan was revoked by the Coin.

In the last Time, the Houston Spies have won 19 games and lost 6. Our record shows us 5 wins behind the Ohio Worms for the best record in the League, but with all the suns and squared black holes about, we’re only one Win behind them. In fact, about half the league has fewer wins than the Boston Flowers, who have the least wins in Wild Low. One Big Union.

Nervous Energy

Aoife Mahle spent a brief 11-day stint Elsewhere, with all her letters intact. I, the author, just realized that Elsewhere has a Waffle House because players can come back Scattered. Whoever goes next, Smothered and Topped please. Chet faxed in for Plums, and has been holding the mound sufficiently well since to remain in the lineup.

Paula Mason got a helmet from the Thieves’ Guild, and had it stolen from the tunnels. The community chest drop replaced it with a Weird Jersey. In other thievery news, Bennet lost possession of the Smokey Rock Shoes of Subtraction. They weren’t helping the pitching much anyways.

At the time of this writing, the Spies lead the league in Runs, Hits, and RBIs. We have a .300 team batting average, and a .937 OPS. For those of you who don’t know how to pronounce SIBR here’s a hint, it’s pronounced SIBR even in a season filled with run-earning potential (the Yellowstone Magic scored 25 runs in an inning), these are incredibly good statistics. Enough to offset our third-worst in the league ERA.


One of the most consequential unredactions of late came in the An Exile chapter.

“You earned 0 coins from Parker MacMillan hitting a grand slam!”

The You is gold. Coin gold. The Coin was trying to earn money off of idoling Parker MacMillan, but could not because of his Non-Profit mod, preventing fans of his team from earning any idol money from him. So she made sure he was exiled, roaming. Firewalking. She needed to keep making money, more than she needed to keep the league safe. And now, she’s setting up another Firewalk in the parks. The Coin may wish for the golden touch, but it turns everything to ash.

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