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Debriefings

FOUR-ENSIC EXAMINER

filed by L
audio version

It is Wednesday, Agents. In the past U.U.O.T, we have won 17 games and lost 5. That’s not very weird, until you examine prior Wednesdays. Then you are cleared to know how this season keeps up with its surprises.

Tempting Fate, Tempting Treats

Both of our Elsewhere Agents have returned, scattered as expected. Unfortunately, neither of them have an active item, so both Dudley and Pudge are vulnerable to Consumer attack. After their Parasitic Jersey sacrificed itself for the good of the symbiote, Comfort joined the list. The Community Chest granted an item to the Spies, but it fell on Alexandria Rosales, granting them a Careful Glove of Vitality. We have learned from Agent Kerfluffle’s sacrifice, and hope to keep the Consumers distracted with meatier prey.

IVestigator

Wyatt Mason IV, obviously called Ivy for individuation, has a long-standing habit of copying the modifications that other players bring. But on Day 51, Ivy echoed Uncle Plasma, becoming Hard-Boiled. This has apparently deputized a new Investigator onto the team. Will Uncle Plasma recognize Ivy as ‘a friend’ and share leads? Is this the start of proving that the Spies have nothing to do with the Redacted players? Probably not. There’s so much going on this season it’s hard to generate a push for what feels like a loose subplot. The fans have moved on to Flootball.

It Puts the Base in the Oven

Jesús Koch received the Legendary Super Roamin’ Fifth Base during the last election. On day 38, it was too much to bear. The Fifth Base was placed in The Oven, the Pies’ ballpark. Afterward, the Community Chest gave Jesús a plain, ordinary helmet, which apparently fits just right. Jesús now seems to be a permanent member of the Yellowstone Magic, as much as anything is permanent in this game.

Flame(Flame)

Even the might and mass of Sun(Sun) has not prevented eclipses this season. Niq Nyong’o is not living proof. Niq partied all the way up from 9 to 16 stars in Atlantis, but could not limbo under the Umpire’s gaze.

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