filed by Agent L and Agent Pony
Agents, the Spies are still deciding whether winning means being good or being bad this season. Over the last unknowable unit of time we have won 11 games and lost 15.
filed by Agent Pony
So as of Earlsiesta, there’s new additions to the Pre-History I book, which are as chilling as ever!
As far as I’m aware, our briefly-faxed-in newest pitcher Plums Blather is the very same as the archivist currently in charge of The Agency’s Archives and Library. They were the one who brought these files to me while I was asleep on my desk (again), which I can tell because I woke up with a note attached to my face mentioning how I seem to have taken an interest in investigating ILB library entries. Okay but for real, I feel this weird aura surrounding them. Are they, like, an AI or something, or are they just Like That?
The new chapters not only describe the Incineration of the Alaskan Immortals (9. An Eclipse), but the incineration of… the Canada Artists (13. A Save)? Is the Discipline Era really the first time umpires have gone rogue? Because it sure doesn’t look like it’s a new thing to me.
Maybe the Artists have something to do with the Pandemonium Artists of the Coffee Cup? This idea is the result of pairing these new library entries with (as of writing this) at least three cups of The Agency’s “coffee“, though, so take it with a heaping mound of salt.
It seems that unlike the Alaskan Immortals, whose entire team was incinerated including the roster and shadows, the Canada Artists seem to have exactly one player in their roster in the Hall of Flame: Agan Espinoza. They have a very rare modification called Fire Protector in their file. After digging through other player files, I found that this modification has shown up once before, on a player named Raúl Leal, previously of the Miami Dale, incinerated season 13 day 43 (RIV). Former wielder of a Legendary bat named The Iffey Jr., an item that can protect teammates (but not the wielder themselves) from incineration but that cost Raúl all their stars when they picked it up. The Iffey Jr. has since been confiscated, and nobody in the League has it anymore.
…Wait, why does the feed for the Pandemonium Artists have a bunch of new blacked-out entries in it now?
filed by Agent L
The Monitor introduced the opening of the Gift Shop this season, wearing the fourth of his hats. We notice that Hall Monitor is NOT one of the roles listed on the official portrait. The replicas have moved from simple display boxes to blister packs complete with accessories. Several are apparently “heavy”, especially a replica Chorby Soul that comes complete with… Chorby’s Soul. Also of note are the Dynamic Duo, BC Noir, whose packaging encourages us to ‘collect the whole set’ of two.
Bake and Flambé
As reported last season, the 5th Base was placed in The Oven. This season, Richardson Games stole the 5th base, looked at it, tested it in the middle with a toothpick, and promptly put it back in The Oven. Though not before a good number of Thieves panicked about losing one half of the Gameses.
Gerund Pantheocide of the Tokyo Lift is gone. Incinerating. Crushing. Disabling. Shocking. Memorializing.
Bennett Bluesky was briefly Elsewhere, leaving Alexandria Rosales briefly unsupported. We enjoyed the sight of the first all-Underhanded pitching rotation insofar as a fixed point is rotating at zero RPM.
Afterward, apparently exhausted, Alexandria gave up 10 runs and was faxed as expected. Somewhat less expected was seeing a new face, Plums Blather, come in as relief. After giving up 19 runs in 19 innings, they were mercifully faxed back for Alexandria. The experience and the shadow boost can only help them improve.
Yeong-Ho Garcia returned from Elsewhere, and was met with a very different team than they left. It’s…been an Earlseason.
And the drama doesn’t show signs of stopping. Silvaire Roadhouse, who we knew carried Debt, revealed the true nature of it when their hit turned Walton Sports unstable. Walton is safe, there were no Eclipse games before it wore off, but not all recipients may be so lucky. It’s unreasonable to think the Spies won’t face Silvaire in the batter’s box again before the end of the season. We are in the same division, after all.
Our contacts who tap into arcane meteorological rituals are looking worried. No, not normal worried, especially worried. Good luck, Agents.