filed by Agent O
Hello! The ILB has finally declassified some information for me to cover, and so I shall do so.
We have unlocked no new pins and no new information. I do have to wonder how many new fans there are if there is no Blaseball to see… this is all lore stuff, which is all well and good, but there is kind of an entire game we aren’t seeing.
Furthermore, we have found out that this Falling thing will end on December 30.
That’s a total of ten Falls. Are we just going to have smaller teams now? Will we get more players per Fall? Probably not, after four Falls of one player each. Here is a more interesting option: there is speculation that we may receive players we Charged during the Short Circuits, the prospect of which would replenish the teams to fourteen players…
The nature of our being able to “coordinate strategy better” has been revealed: there will be a sort of forum hosted on the website itself. I only hope that we will be allowed to post our voting strategy polls. …And that I can mention the existence of this website.
The landing page (oh dear, that’s another pun isn’t it) now contains brief summaries of notable statistical events in each team’s history – including one of ours:
- Sneaky Postseason operators, the Spies have made the playoffs 11 out of a possible 23 times over the past two Eras. Still, a Spies Championship remains Missing-in-Action. Will they achieve their mission? Intel says: Spies REDACTED!
- The Spies lead the League in home runs, with 3484, over 100 more than the 2nd place Team, the Dallas Steaks.
- Former star Player Fitzgerald Blackburn holds the record for most Home Runs hit during a single Postseason, with 10 blasts in Season 16.
In other words: like we’ve always known, Spies dingers… and Spies keep choking in the playoffs.
The former team picker had absolutely no details about the teams at all. I suppose this may be an attempt to improve matters on that front?
There are many other instances of the words “former star” on this page. It makes me a bit sad. We must, however, move on, players or no players. The Plan demands it.
Arm and Ready
Our new player is former Boston Flower and team captain Margarito Nava, formerly an excellent slugger buried underneath said Flowers having an enormous lineup. Given that we have been told that there will be a completely different simulation with completely different stats, this is unlikely to remain true, though who even knows.
The Agency, assuming it still exists, may appreciate Nava’s possible ownership of a bar, Margaritoville, as an excellent place to pick up
gossip intelligence. Nava is often thought of as the sibling to Hellmouth Sunbeam extraordinaire Nagomi Nava. Furthermore, Nava’s impressive slugging may or may not be due to xir arm being replaced by vines.
Several other Spies have fallen on long-term assignments to other teams:
Agent Reese Clark has been claimed by the Baltimore Crabs, who already adore them being a Fire Eater, their reputation as a funny angst man, and the prospect of being able to turn them into a decorator crab.
Agent Jesse Tredwell has fallen from a permanent seat in the Spies’ shadows into the brutalist Sears maintained by the Kansas City Breath Mints.
Former Agent Pudge Nakamoto, best known for being a thorn in the Kansas City Breath Mints’ side and Roaming out of being dead, has returned to the Philly Pies, who are already having fun making lore for a heel player.
This Fall has been replete with other excellent players, including Jaxon Buckley and Sigmund Castillo.
These players have seen play.
- Silvaire Semiquaver – Hawai’i Fridays
- Yurts Buttercup – Miami Dale
- Abner Pothos – Canada Moist Talkers
- Pudge Nakamoto – Philadelphia Pies
- Stevenson Heat – Hades Tigers
- Mummy Melcon – Mexico City Wild Wings
- Jaxon Buckley – Core Mechanics
- Sigmund Castillo – Breckenridge Jazz Hands
- Elvis Figueroa – Los Angeles Unlimited Tacos
- Mooney Doctor II – Yellowstone Magic
- Mordecai Kingbird – San Francisco Lovers
- Margarito Nava – Houston Spies
- Reese Clark – Baltimore Crabs
- Spears Taylor – Boston Flowers
- Fish Summer – Charleston Shoe Thieves
- Ryuji Ngozi – New York Millennials (though only for a few moments due to the Fax Machine)
- Dunn Keyes – Hellmouth Sunbeams
These players have not seen play.
- Johnnyboy Aster – Ohio Worms
- Jesse Tredwell – Kansas City Breath Mints
- Doc Cash – Atlantis Georgias
- Baby Sliders – Dallas Steaks
- Vernon Cotterpin – Tokyo Lift
- Francisco Object – Chicago Firefighters
- Jesús Rodriguez – Seattle Garages
As A Note
In lieu of an alternative social media site, the Spies Debriefings have an RSS feed, and we will keep you informed of any future presences here.
I cannot guarantee that I will continue writing Debriefings about the rest of the Falls, particularly if we receive no news or we receive a player with no previous experience playing – which is to say, if there is nothing for me to write a Debriefing about. This being said, I will try.