Welcome to the sidelines, Spies.

Succeeding in the playoffs was simply not part of the mission this year. It is not that the Hellmouth Sunbeams are too powerful. It is not that we are drained of blood and defense. It is simply that it was not in our best interest to win this one. Nor was it in our best interest to party. The best thing for us, clearly, was to be just good enough to make playoffs and then burn out quickly so we get no better and no worse. This is the most inconspicuous tactic. While minds are elsewhere, watching the games, we can execute our plan. If you do not know the plan, your clearance level isn’t high enough. My clearance level is not high enough.

In practice, this means that, over the past unknowable unit of time, we won 5 regular season games and lost two. In the playoffs, we won two out of three games to eliminate the Boston Flowers, but lost twice to the Sunbeams, knocking us out of the playoffs ourselves.

If this were not all part of the greater mission, we would be disappointed. Instead, we are perplexed, as we don’t know what the mission is, nor why it necessitates both avoiding Party Time and losing the playoffs. Do you ever wonder if there really is any greater mission or whether we’re all just being jerked around by the agency’s incompetence?

Uhhh judging from that very foreboding knock at the door, it’s time to end this. Please burn after reading. Spies win.

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