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Debriefings

THE BIG SLEEP

Welcome to the Grand Siesta, Spies.

Our Wild Low comrades the Hellmouth Sunbeams have secured this year’s championship. We applaud their success, and also our own, because we, too, have won. Congratulations to the Sunbeams, and congratulations to the Spies for the flawless execution of yet another mission.

What was this mission, you ask? For once, I can tell you: the Spies have taken the moon. Where have we taken it? For what purpose? That’s classified, of course. But the moon is ours.

A screenshot of the Houston Spies info panel, which includes "XVIII The Moon."
Exhibit A: The Moon.

Other changes have taken place, as well. We have entered a new Era of Blaseball, one written, in part, by us. Three Decrees: Eat, Deface, and Close have passed, introducing Concessions, changes to the Book and Elections, and Ballparks (we think), respectively. The modifications to the Book include the revealing and subsequent striking of 5.j. (“Nothing truly matters.”), the striking of 6.b. (“If a team wins three championships, they, and Blaseball, shall ascend.”) and part of 6.c. (“When teams are sent to [REDACTED], they shall return once [REDACTED] the Under.”) One of the names at the bottom of the book has also been stricken.

These Decrees have also added a second page to the Book, which includes some expansion on the Concessions, Ballparks, and Elections. Investigations into what these changes mean for the ILB are ongoing, and provided your clearance level is high enough, will be revealed to agents on a need-to-know basis.

Now, Spies, we begin a Grand Siesta. Our agents and weary players rest. For a time, there are no incinerations, no Elections, no Black Hole swallowing our wins. There is only building and recharging. In an unknowable unit of time we will return refreshed and ready to face whatever awaits us. For now, rest easy, Spies. Be well.

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