Categories
Debriefings

WE SHOOT, WE DON’T SCORE

filed by Agent Blaze

Hello Agents! Season 21 is ending, so here’s all the information from the last amount of time that we assume is a day.

New Faces

Due to the use of Red Herrings, even more text was revealed in the Library. In “An Alternate”, we finally learned about what team Megan originally came from: the Minnesota Truckers, who appeared in the Hall shortly after the message they appeared in was unredacted.

The Truckers were incinerated in a game against the New York Millennials. The new team that replaced the Truckers was the alliterative Boulders Bay Birds (Boulders Bay is located in South Africa, and “Now Now” is apparently local slang for “later”). It was this team that New Megan Ito joined, after the original Megan Ito static’d herself away. Although New Megan Ito doesn’t seem to be a part of the Birds lineup anymore? I wonder why.

Also, it was verified that the Topeka Moist Talkers were the incineration replacement for the Canada Artists. Because this feed entry shows up in the Canada Moist Talkers’ feed, we know the Talkers ended up moving back to Canada sometime before the existence of our ILB, but we don’t know exactly when that happened.

Crimes Failed Successfully?

We somehow managed to beat the Worms and advanced to the Quarterfinals of the Overbracket. Here we faced off against our other Wild Low friends, the LA Unlimited Tacos.

During Game 3 of this series, Tacos pitcher Yummy Elliott went into the Tunnels of REDACTED. Their intentions were to take the Clutch Wooden Rock Ring. Many assumed that this would be the ring that Bennett Bluesky held, but it wasn’t. Instead, Elliott stole the ring from Core Mechanics player Cannonball Sports. Why are our tunnels connected to the Core anyways?

Many were confused as to why the attempt to steal from Bennett accidentally reached all the way to the Core instead, but most of the Spies are happy that Bennett was able to keep their item. After how many of their other items got stolen, I think they deserve to keep at least one.

In the end, the Tacos swept us 3-0, knocking us out of the playoffs. It’s fine. We didn’t want to be there anyway.

Meanwhile in the Playoffs…

In the end, the Tacos made it to the Overbracket semifinals. Despite all their players except Dudley Mueller getting decimated by Consumers earlier this season, the Hades Tigers ended up defeating the Tacos 3-2.

The Tigers went on to face the Mild League Champions, the Baltimore Crabs. I wonder if they felt at home in the finals. The original best team of early Blaseball meeting the first team to Ascend. The Crabs ended up sweeping the Tigers 3-0. Or should I say that the Crabs ended up sweeping Dudley Mueller and a bunch of rocks 3-0? Even the voicemailing in of Famous Owens, whose very first appearance batting was in this final game, did nothing to stop their plummeting.

Meanwhile, in the Underbracket, the champion was decided in only two games. Thanks to Black Hole shenanigans and an Underhanded pitcher, the Wild League Wildcard, the Hellmouth Sunbeams, came out on top bottom? of the Underbracket. They now have both a Championship and an Underchampionship. Perfectly balanced, as all things should be.

Election Strategy Time

It’s that time of the week season again! You can find our election strategy guide below, curated by Agent State and numerous other Agents. As always, this guide is only a suggestion. If you have any questions or want to see the full strategy guide, please visit the Blaseball Discord, or Decentral Command.

Decrees: None preferred
Blessings: Priority: Shadow Evolution, Gaudy
Useful: Play to Find Out, Shadow Cinnamon, Darkside Flip
Unfavorable (avoid): Strong Armed, Liability
Wills: Equivalent Exchange Siobhan Chark for Comfort Septemberish (currently on the Sunbeams),
Shadow Infuse Emmett Tabby or Donia Bailey

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