A new season has officially begun.

Thanks to our new blessings our finely honed skills and flawless execution, the Houston Spies have a positive win-loss ratio to start season seven: 12 to 8. Remember: any past losses were an intentional part of the plan, and not reflective of low star ratings, saboteurs, or any factor other than our own intentions.

Following the last election’s necromancy, Seattle Garages pitcher Jaylen Hotdogfingers appears to have gained a new ability: hitting other players with the ball and causing them to become Unstable. We are not worried because we rarely play the Garages.

In game nine, the Spies shamed the Unlimited Tacos. More importantly, during game fifteen, the Blooddrain activated and siphoned some of Spies player Valentine Games’ defensive ability away. We are not worried. We are incapable of worry. We have never been worried and refuse to start now.

Thank you, Spies, for your continued discretion and service to the mission.

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