Welcome to season eight, Spies.
Once again, the Houston Spies have managed to avoid gaining any blessings. This is a concentrated effort and not reflective of small team size or bad luck. We simply did not want them. Ask anybody.
We did, however, manage to get rid of that dastardly Evelton McBlase II. Through a cunning misdirection strategy coordinated with other teams, we successfully raised our awful batter to slot fourteen on the idol leaderboards, and the Lottery Pick winner, the Hawai’i Fridays, swept our nefarious and extremely unpleasant McBlase off to vacation on the islands, along with his clone source, Evelton McBlase. In exchange, we received Karato Bean, who, by all reports, is an extremely cool dude.
This season’s election also ensured that the top four teams would receive no blessings during season seven. As a result, the Hawai’i Fridays swept the results, securing a total of six blessings, one of which was also a curse, as it got them McBlase II.
What will this season’s election bring? It’s hard to say. But we are looking better than ever, Spies. Perhaps this season we’ll be saying spies win more than ever.