Good morning, Spies.
We regret to inform you that our mild complaint about the lack of excitement over the past has resulted in unforeseen consequences. It’s also possible that the request we filed for a roster shuffle was, held up in for literal and only just now processed. Whatever the cause, previous hitters Karato Bean, Marco Escobar, and Sosa Hayes are now pitchers, whereas Math Velazquez, Denzel Scott, and Theodore Holloway have become batters. Math seems very about this, as the numbers go up with much greater frequency.
Though this did hurt our playoff chances somewhat, the record over the previous has remained remarkably similar—we won 15 games and nine. However, many of those losses were against the Tacos, demonstrating that our morale may have been lower than usual due to the shuffle. Regardless, the Spies are still second in the standings, trailing the Crabs by just three wins.
In other news, we have dodged NaN and Jaylen Hotdogfingers.
We’ve got this, Spies. Maybe not the championship, okay, but we’ve got this, which is: a pretty good record, Math happily hitting the ball with all Math’s extra elbows, and one another.