So uh. Kinda glad we didn’t win the championship, actually? It was absolutely wild seeing Stu Trololol hit that game-winning triple, only to have any joy in success snatched away by none other than the Shelled One, who seems to have abducted all Shelled players to aid in its dark plans, whatever those may be. Hard to say “Go Shoe Thieves!” after those horrors but uh, “Go Shoe Thieves!”

This is unprofessional. Strike it from the record.


The Shoe Thieves won the championship with a beautiful triple in the bottom of the ninth, in the fifth game of a five-game series. We’re very happy for them, and look forward to playing them in the championships next season, when we will have become unstoppable, obviously.

OK. But really, let’s think this through—if we win the championship, then we have to face the Shelled One, probably. Is that really what we want? I mean, maybe someday in the future, but right now?

If you do not stop with this unprofessional jabber you will be removed from your post, effective immediately.

Gods, fine.

Shoe Thieves won the championship, we lost to the Crabs, there’s a new team comprised of Shelled members of other teams that seem to be… not entirely themselves, and we’ve still gotta play ball. Go Spies, I guess.

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