Categories
Debriefings

WE ARE ALL HATE TILLMAN HENDERSON

Well, Spies. We are in the playoffs once more. Our victory is bittersweet; once again, we taste the thrill of a season well-played, but we face many potential threats: the Shelled One’s Pods, the threat of People’s Champions, and crushing defeat at the hands of the Crabs once more.

But we press on, Spies, as we always do. There is no way but forward, no path that is not also the mission. In this way, we secured six wins and one loss over the previous unknown unit of time.

Once again, the end of the season ushered in a series of strange events. Following the conclusion of Operation RISE, intended to bring incinerated players to weather-marked positions on the idolboard along with raising Jaylen Hotdogfingers to the Microphone position, was uh, kind of a success. Jaylen Hotdogfingers appears to have Feedbacked with the player in the 14th slot on the Hall of Flame board—none other than the dastardly and recently deceased Tillman Henderson. The result is that Henderson is now alive, and Hotdogfingers is not. RIV. Again.

Other players received temporary modifiers like those introduced at the start of Season 10—Caligula Lotus is now a Friend of Crows, Landry Violence is now a Fire Eater, and Workman Gloom is now a Siphon. Unfortunately, they are also all dead.

Hotdogfingers also has a new modification: Fliickerrriiing. Again, she is dead and therefore cannot use it. But as we know all too well, “death” is a temporary state. Blaseball can—and must—go on.

The Microphone—also known as Wyatt—also had some new messages for us:

okay
here goes nothing
Yes!
We did it!
It worked!
Hello?
Friends?
Friends where are you?
It's Wyatt
We did it
It worked
It was supposed to work
oh no

Clearly, this is not ideal. We suspect that the last-minute slip-up in Operation RISE may have been the problem, but it’s impossible to say for certain. We have our operatives investigating the transmission and will report our findings to those with the appropriate clearance levels as soon as they are available.

Whatever happens, spies win.

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