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Debriefings

AN EXPERIMENTAL DISPROOF

Welcome back from the Off-Season, Agents. We have, so far, won 5 games and lost 3.

The subtitle of this season is “Live Bait”, which I’m told thrills the Ohio Worms to no end.

The Death of Stars

Back in the earliest days of the ILB, before the Alternation, Math Velazquez had this theory that reaching a negative star rating could transform the nature of Blaseball. We now have experimental evidence that, alas, this was never possible.

Chorby Soul has been attacked by consumers at least ten times this season so far, and has yet to dip below 0.1 stars. The SIBR Agency supercomputers have verified that Chorby’s FK stats are no longer able to decrease, no matter how many times they’re eaten, and as such Chorby’s star total can never be further decreased either.

Math is reportedly crushed by this news.

Observations

The two players who possess debt inflict others with “Observed”. This is the same modifier that, during the Coffee Cup, resulted in most of the Real Game Band being percolated by the Tractor Bean. Which removed them from the game. Though at least Observed is capped at being weekly.

In particular, Wyatt Glover fielded a ball that York Silk had hit, and caught a case of Observation; soon afterwards, Glover disappeared with no notice (not even in Glover’s own Feed) and was subsequently marked as REDACTED. To be clear, this REDACTED is the same modification as has been seen on Brisket Friendo and Tad Seeth, and doesn’t have anything to do with the Spies proper.

Items

Items have seemingly disappeared from all players who have previously held them, and there is now a locked “items” tab on every player’s profile. What this means is unknown.

Meanwhile, fans have discovered that, far from wanting to expand their snack packs to fit the promised unlimited number of snacks, they receive far more profit by trimming their snack packs down to the absolute minimum. This agent has observed several fans with four, three, and two snack slots – and a few that are running only one.

The Election Slate Wiped Clean

The Decrees are also all items-themed; each boosts one stat across the entire league. My suspicion is that this doesn’t increase the actual amount of that stat that any player has; it increases the importance of that stat in the simulation itself.

There are twenty-four blessings. We are currently debating which ones to prioritize. Keep an eye on the Discord channels for more details.

The Wills have changed dramatically from previously; rebalanced Wills include, but are not limited to:

  • Exchange now only working for players who have similar total stars
  • Alternate and Trust being combined
  • Infuse now being Transfuse, which moves stars around instead of granting overall buffs
  • an option to reroll a Modification

We shall have to consider our options carefully. Good luck and good sense, Agents.

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