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Debriefings

REDACTED

Hello, Agents. It is a peculiar day in Spiesland: are we becoming plot-relevant? The rash of REDACTED players has been giving many of us pause.

Over the past unknowable unit of time we have won 13 games and lost 8. The league has been extremely competitive lately; the Miami Dale, of all people, are currently leading Wild Low!

Rookie Report

Our newer players are doing quite well (though Jomgy Rolsenthal and Yrjö Kerfuffle have this habit of repeatedly attempting and failing to steal bases). Becker Solis is technically our worst pitcher, but she has been performing perfectly respectably, so that isn’t saying much.

Sharks and Souls

Chorby Soul’s frankly absurd Soul stat has been leading to them being chomped two to three times per game. Every game. Every hour. On the plus side, because Chorby Soul has been attracting all the consumers, the rest of the Seattle Garages have gone uneaten. Is Chorby Soul the “live bait” this season’s subtitle is referring to?

Experimentation with the idol board has confirmed that the name “eDensity” is entirely correct, because there appears to be an actual literal flotation calculation going on: teams’ credit ratings are bobbing up and down, and the “water level” used for this calculation appears to be where the idol board “noodle”/MVP line is.

This creates yet another pun: teams attract sharks when they are below C-level.

REDACTED

As it so happens, there have been several other players who have been hit with Observed, and subsequently became Redacted. They have all been Redacted during Coffee weather. Specifically, Ren Hunter and Peanut Holloway of the New York Millenials have been reported missing.

The other player who has been Observed and then Redacted was, in fact, one of the people who was supposed to be investigating the phenomenon: Liquid Friend of the San Francisco Lovers. Obstruction of justice?

Several ex-Spies have found themselves being Observed, including Jordan Hildebert and Andrew Solis. Thankfully, their trained Spy skills in stunt driving and clinging onto the roof of a room with suction cups while their tails attempt to search for them (respectively) have so far allowed them to evade capture.

Secret Base

One of the ballpark renovations that has been made available is called “Secret Base” – described as “Shhh. Unlock the Secret Base, a hidden base beyond 2nd. Destroy this message after reading.” Several Spies fans have found themselves blacking out upon reading its description and waking back up missing all their coins.

Be careful, Agents: this may have clearly been meant for us, but my suspicion is that it will also make us plot-relevant.

The shadows deepen. The detective has gone missing. What comes next?

Keep your trenchcoat collars up and your hat brims low, my friends. If Spies are to win, we must first survive.

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