Categories
Debriefings

LOOKING FORWARD

filed by O
audio version

A good election to cap off a good threeson. Good work, Agents. Now we rest.

Do You Remember?

Three Decrees have gone into effect: The Smithy, the Fairgrounds…

And the Library.

IN THE STACKS
RECORDS SET
SECRETS SPILLED
TALES SPUN
YOU WILL REMEMBER BEFORE

A long, long time ago, Parker III (RIV) asked us if we remembered anything from before.

I think we will now.

Meanwhile, the Squid is now also a Tour Guide, a development that caught it just as off-guard as it caught us.

And Just A Bit Of Luck

The Wills we wanted went off: Sosa to the Shadows, and Bennett’s Pitching transfused. Sosa received just that tiny touch of a Shadows boost, and Bennett –

Bennett Bluesky is a five-star ace pitcher now.

(I said “thanks again for the trade” to one of the Charleston Shoe Thieves. They said thanks for letting them have Jordan Hildebert – who has become their star home run hitter, particularly since Howell Franklin got feedbacked to the Seattle Garages.)

Also, in what is definitely yet another order-of-operations joke by the sim, Bennett Bluesky received a Leg Ring from a Handcrafted Ring Crate, then immediately dropped it for [checks notes] Smoky Plant-Based Glasses of Intelligence. Honestly, this is probably for the best. The sunglasses are significantly better for Bennett. Still, the blessing descriptions did say that they would go to whoever had an empty item slot…

And For Others…

A necessarily incomplete list.

The Seattle Garages managed to Reform Jaylen Hotdogfingers’ Fliickerrriiing into… Super Idol. She is, of course, presently on the Core Mechanics. And will now be there indefinitely.

The Yellowstone Magic lost yet another one of their originals – Bevan Wise – in a 1% Plunder for Sexton Wheerer. They are only somewhat salty.

The San Francisco Lovers finally got Knight Triumphant back! In return, they sent Pitching Machine. Who is finally pitching again.

The Breckenridge Jazz Hands have yet again failed to receive any blessings. Despite being the highest bidders on, like, four of them.

The New York Millenials Reformed Chorby Short’s Unstable into Friend of Crows, and then immediately sent her to the Boston Flowers.

Our despised Evelton McBlase II took all the item blessings from the Core Mechanics and then wandered away with them. Welcome to the list of teams who have been wronged by Eviltwin, Mechs. Between us, who lost Donia Bailey for that !@#$er, and the Fridays, who lost a good player to him in a feedback swap, and the Crabs, who were forced to leave several players behind when they ascended, one of which was replaced by him… Good luck to the Chicago Firefighters.

The Charleston Shoe Thieves have received yet another Roaming player – this time, Alejandro Leaf was foisted onto them by the Tokyo Lift. From what little I can see from here, the Thieves are adjusting to their role as halfway house for Roaming players.

Your Mission (Should You Choose To Accept It)

Well, technically, several.

  • Do your homework. Or your work. Or whatever it is you haven’t been doing.
  • Buy exactly one Breakfast. Check in once daily to collect the coins from it. Keep your Blaseball browser tab closed at all other times. (Extra Breakfasts do not increase your earning rate. They only increase your cap. Selling off extra slots does increase earning rate, somewhat, but it’s not worth selling a full stack of seeds or whatever.)
  • Use this list of instructions for how to look at a bird. It’s the advanced version of touching grass. And you develop an observational and analytical eye while doing it, too.
  • If you’re new here, use this time to catch up on lore and ask us questions about this strange world.
  • Schedule an appointment for that thing you’ve been putting off. You know the one.
  • Help us write wiki pages, particularly for the players we have received the last few threesons – Yrjö Kerfuffle, Norris Firestar, Emmett Tabby, and Jomgy Rolsenthal still need full pages, and almost everyone else’s pages need updates for what happened in the past couple weeks (we are in particular need of major updates for Avila Guzman, Yeong-Ho Garcia, and Bennett Bluesky – they have all joined the Spies but there is not yet a recorded narrative for why).
  • Go catch up on some sleep. It will help.

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