Spies, I regret to inform you… about many things, actually. But one of the most pressing, the most concerning, is this:

A screenshot of Blaseball showing the Miami Dale leading the Houston Spies in the leaderboard.

It appears that this season we are worse than the Miami Dale, but not by much. 

Much of this upset is due to the presence of strange new weather events: the Black Hole and Sun 2. From our research, we have determined that the Black Hole activates when a team reaches 10 runs, assigning -1 runs to the opponent, and that Sun 2 adds 1 win when a team reaches 10 runs. As you no doubt have gathered, Sun 2 has not smiled upon us. 

Though our “official” record states a win-loss ratio of 12 wins to 12 losses, as we all know, Spies Win. Therefore, we will not be accepting the “official” record unless it gets us into Party Time because we’re serious about the blood loss, our Son needs cookies and OJ as soon as possible.

We curse the Black Hole and its granting of losses. We do not curse Sun 2 because we are not fool enough to curse the sun. We are exactly fool enough to curse gravity itself.

Please, Spies. Win, but only just. Do not do too well. 



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