It is Wednesday, Spies. That fateful day that determines the rest of our season. The day that always undoes our plans. That scourge, that knave.

Once again, we are performing better than the Miami Dale. In fact, we have the fifth most wins in the ILB. Party time may be out of reach this season. Please return your shutter shades and novelty beverage umbrellas to your desks. I know we were all very excited to party this season but it seems we may be destined for the playoffs after all.

This is, in no small part, due to a far better win-loss ratio: 14-9 over the past unknowable unit of time. Our official record, naturally, is much higher than that—we have benefited from six distinct instances of Sun 2, earning us an additional six wins, and lost just two wins due to Black Hole. We have also shamed the Unlimited Tacos twice in Games 40 and 42, as well as the Mexico City Wild Wings once in Game 44.

Spies win. Perhaps too much. Consider doing a little worse, Spies. You have very little blood and no defense. Come on. Think about it.

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