filed by agent kit
Good timezone, agents. The Houston Spies have completed the season with 72 wins, with a record record of 70 non-losses to 29 losses. The run streak mentioned in the last debrief lasted 20 games, broken by the Tokyo Lift, and only one off of the Baltimore Crabs’ 21 streak record.
In the Dugout, with a Bat
Being at the top of the Wild League, we have a new friend/postseason birth in our Shadows, Plums Blather. According to the statistically-inclined fans, Plums is now the first to be faxed out should a pitcher need a break. They are also an okay candidate for an infuse to batting; a good all-round player. I wonder how long before this agent gets the chance to show what they are made of, whether on the pitching mound or with a bat in hand.
Please ignore all the pitchers who already have bats.
Not Only Rats in the Tunnels
The ratified tunnels have been bustling with activity despite being filled in, as Alexandria Rosales has been stealing runs from the opposing teams. This has caused us to gather many extra balloons but not enough to completely counter our rapidly increasing edensity, and this rampant thievery has won us several games.
(The splortsmanship of this is entirely up to personal opinion, but the tunnels are here to stay.)
Dudley Mueller has returned from elsewhere, just in time for the playoffs. It is still scattered. At least its jersey is currently fully intact. Unfortunately, its report contained nothing we did not already know. Players, peanuts, a patchwork of things washed out of the parks.
Up and Down
The Reader had revealed to us a Depth chart in the earlsiesta, with a wonderfully cacti-populated desert at the top?, and the gate to Blaseball 2 at the bottom?, protected by consumers.
Many teams have devised plans to rise and/or fall. The Core Mechanics have decided to increase their edensity to sink down this chart. An agent reportedly heard a Mechanics fan justifying this with “Core is down”. The Hawaii Fridays, Mexico City Wild Wings and Tokyo Lift all have plans to go up or rise, by reducing their eDensity.
I, personally, cannot wait to see someone rise up as far as possible, get their balloons popped, then plummet through the Blaseball 2 gate. I think it will be funny, and also I believe that breaking this gate will drain the immateria and beach the Consumers. This has no evidence on the site. I just do not want the Spies (or Jomgy Rolsenthal) to get chomped any more.
Safety Safety Safety Safety Safety…
During MVP selection, Crates said:
A trail of Embers
The Historian beckons
Offering Preservation, Containment”
“Safety” then repeated several times.
I don’t know what that means.
Over and Under
As voted on in last season’s decrees, there is now an Underbracket. I do not know what is going on there. Please do not take this attempt to explain as gospel. The underbracket is picked exactly the same as the standard Postseason Overbracket, except it is for those who have lost. There are four teams from each league, and two Mild Cards. Side note – being chosen as a Wild Card for the Overbracket supersedes a place in the Underbracket, as the Yellowstone Magic found out today.
To progress through the Underleague, you must lose. Losing grants an unwin, and the first to +/- 2 wins will move onto the next round.
To bet on this, bet on the team you think will receive the unwin. I think. Probably. I don’t have snake oil.
No Voting Advice Yet
Election opinion voting is wrapping up shortly. Please stay tuned for the voting guide, which is delayed due to bureaucratic issues. We welcome all agents to submit their opinions on Discord, and remember: do not vote until we have finished
winning playing in the playoffs.
We might even make it. This could be our year.