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Debriefings

OPEN THE VAULT

filed by Agent O

This is only sort of a debrief; it is mostly a liveblog. As noted in the previous debriefing, it is possible to use herring in a controlled manner to reveal redacted Feed events. This has resulted in an avalanche of new information: possibly the most important of which is the rediscovery of a player named Parker McMillan. At the time of writing, the intern-interim commissioner Parker MacMillan IIIII’s only comments on the matter were incoherent frustration and an existential crisis.

Outside The Books

Before we get into the plot stuff, Blaseball has been happening. Events include (but are not limited to):

The Hawaii Fridays and San Francisco Lovers had 2 feedbacks in 2 games. The Fridays now have more original Lovers players than the Lovers do, and the Lovers now have more original Fridays players than the Fridays do.

During a Community Chest, Commissioner Vapor dropped a Head Necklace for an Arm Bat. During the same cratesmas, James Mora dropped the Force Field of Observation, thus ruining the science experiment the Yellowstone Magic were doing (they wanted to see if the forcefield could stop Vaulting from happening).

Yeong-Ho Garcia has been replaced by Math Velazquez thanks to Voicemail. Given Yeong-Ho’s stats, I do not think they are coming out any time soon.

It turns out you can steal and drop the Chorby’s Soul. We learned this because Gloria Bugsnax stole it, which sent the Boston Flowers plummeting towards the bottom of the chart.

Oliver Loofah killed an umpire by being fireproof. Not to be outdone, Chorby Soul V killed three umpires in a single game due to being Unstable and fireproof.

Huber Frumple picked up the Fifth Base.

The Bird Hotel attracts a flock of birds every time someone parties.

Investigational Updates

Uncle Plasma has figured out that batters with Debt can inflict it by hitting flyouts, and is intentionally walking Silvaire Roadhouse so as to prevent them from hitting anyone. Some actual situational awareness from a blaseball player – imagine that!

Forrest Best has been re-Redacted. This has caused a number of new “investigation” type events to show up in the Feeds of the various detective replicas, thus resulting in the possibility of acquiring more pickled herring. (Incidentally, the circle around the upshelling button on herring-granting events is red, rather than gray.)

The rush to acquire fish has caused @ILBLootcrates to be haphazardly flooded with messages from the investigation, because the account tweets everything that has reached 1000 peanuts. In between all this nonsense, the Drumsolo drumsolo also made it to a thousand. Not that it will be findable in between all the Liquid Friends having sinking feelings.

“ECHOED Megan Ito ECHOED Megan Ito ECHOED Megan Ito […]”

The first Herring-revealed item was an exceptionally long feed event that nobody could decode, verifying that feed events do indeed become visible at a thousand herring. It also revealed the page for a player called Megan Ito, who (oddly) has both Echo and Static. (This is weird because the Psychoacoustics Wyatts lost their Echo modification when they echoed into Static.)

At some point in here, Megan dropped a legendary item called The Force Field. We were briefly wondering where it went, and then…

“Parker MacMillan left Instability in their wake. The Alaskan Immortals became Unstable!”

So. Several things here.

The Alaskan Immortals were incinerated because they were unstable, and in this case Unstable was a team mod. This will be explained shortly.

Parker MacMillan himself was an excellent batter (six stars!) who had an impressive number of modifications (comparable to Nagomi McDaniel’s mod count); the most worrying of these is Firewalker: “When this Player leaves a Location, they’ll leave Instability behind.” This would have been a significant problem already if Parker MacMillan was an ordinary player, being traded occasionally from team to team with Blessings (or the ULB equivalent). Unfortunately, Parker MacMillan was also Super Roamin’. Every time he left a team, footsteps smoked in his wake. And this would happen every single week.

Parker MacMillan is also recorded as holding a legendary item called The Force Field. The Force Field grants Careful (not damaged by normal game actions), Forced (wielder cannot move from the place they are in), and Containment (cannot spread instability). It is speculated that Megan Ito somehow moved the item onto Parker at some point in the intervening time between the previous message and this one, though how this was accomplished we can’t say.

Oh, and Parker MacMillan is Legendary.

Parker MacMillan is in the Vault.

Parker IIIII Has An Identity Crisis

It is at this point that Parker MacMillan IIIII, the Intern-Interim Commissioner, found out about the individual who once wore his name. In rapid succession, he tweeted:

what
no
what does that mean
NO
IMPOSTER [sic]

By the end of this sequence, Parker’s Twitter account was locked for an hour in the material plane.

Suspicion is rising that the Parkers are Replicas, and by that I mean Replicas in the Vault sense.

“The Antarctic Fireballs joined Ultra League Blaseball!”

So, it is possible to tell some information about what is underneath Library redactions by examining the source code of the page, which reveals how long the words underneath are. Several of the teams that joined Ultra League Blaseball are teams we still have around today, which were identified by their letter counts. However, several Ultra League teams are as yet unaccounted for; these entries are being herringed, in hopes of finding out who they were. This was the first successful unveiling. More are likely to come.

Upon this entry being revealed, the Antarctic Fireballs were also found in the Hall of Flame. It appears that new teams will be shown in the Hall of Flame as their feed entries become visible.

“Parker MacMillan left Instability in their wake. The Canada Artists became Unstable!”

It has become less surprising that Parker was also responsible for the death of the Canada Artists (or one of the Canada Artists, at any rate). But by this point, people have made a few more connections.

Here’s one particularly interesting theory:

A bit ago, Crates said:

“Golden hours
A trail of Embers
Dark Horizon”

One of Parker’s mods was Firewalker: which would leave a trail of embers. And the dark horizon could refer to an eclipse.

And then:

“Desert, Conflagration
The Historian beckons
Offering Preservation, Containment
Safety”

When Parker deserted a team, it went up in flames. Fortunately, Crates had a solution to this: preserving Parker in amber, stopping this destructive cycle once and for all.

And Parker took it.

“The Hawai’i Fridays Hexed Parker MacMillan with Non-Profit.”

Are hexes, like, the ULB’s form of blessings, or…?

There isn’t much to be gained from analyzing this one in isolation; further context is necessary to draw any conclusions. Moving on.

“The Downward Dogs replaced the incinerated Alaskan Immortals!”

Yet another team has been revealed… but oddly, they are not in the Hall. They have not been incinerated. They are simply no longer in the League.

The Downward Dogs. Their slogan: “Oooooh Big Stretch”. They possess both an over- and underchampionship. They have Walk in the Park as a teamwide mod. And one of them is superallergic.

Superallergic? Wasn’t that a Peanut thing? Didn’t we only start seeing the Peanut after passing the Peanuts decree?

…Wait, no, this might connect to something else I know. In one of the Inside A Blaseball streams, TGB revealed that the Peanut came from Blaseball2.

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