Congratulations, Agents! We have successfully won Psychic Blood. Only… uh. That’s the only good news, to be honest.
Things That Happened To Us
Having won Psychic Blood with a 19% plurality of the vote, we now know that Psychic Blood is described as follows: “Psychic players have a chance of reversing a bad outcome with a Mind Trick.” Is this like an inverse Love blood? Can we undo Strikes? Balls? Outs? …Are we maybe, possibly, capable of undoing other bad things like Consumers? Probably not this last one, but we can hope.
We also received a Handcrafted Shoes drop; Traveling Shoes were granted to Fitzgerald Blackburn. It’s been speculated that Fitz then signed their previous Inflatable Sunglasses and gave them to a young fan, so please imagine a kid in a costume trenchcoat and oversized inflatable shades.
The trouble here being that shoes would be far better for, uh, any of our other players, who don’t constantly hit all home runs all the time and thus actually need help rounding the bases? Traveling does give Fitz a 5% boost at away games and anti-Consumer armor, though, so it could be a lot worse.
As to our Wills, we’d planned to put Becker Solis in the Shadows because we’d like the extra consistency of a four-pitcher rotation, for safekeeping, and to get that Shadows boost to her stats. We then accidentally ended up Transfusing Becker Solis, thus wasting a Will. This is not what we had in mind, but at least it hasn’t permanently broken anything.
Meanwhile, Everything Else Is On Fire
The entire rest of the election has been utter chaos, much of it decidedly negative. Here’s a sampling thereof:
- In what was thankfully an arranged-for consensual trade, the LA Unlimited Tacos ditched Greer Gwiffin and the New York Millenials ditched Felix Garbage. Both will be much happier in their new roles.
- Chorby Soul has been necromanced again. Insert muffled screaming here.
- PolkaDot Patterson has been Alternate Trusted, rerolling their stats so that they are no longer an ace pitcher. The consolation prize received in return was Careful, which preserves item durability, which is definitely not what they wanted. The Core Mechanics then attempted to plunder PDP, which is fine and all until you realize that who got sent back? Was the Mechs’ best pitcher, Zoey Kirchner. So now the Mechs’ rotation has been dumped out the window.
- Melton Telephone, who is sometimes spoken of as “The Forbidden Third Telephone” due to the lore implications of having another Telephone on your team, was pulled up by the Yellowstone Magic.
- Speaking of Telephones, Jessica Telephone is… on the Tokyo Lift now? I guess this may as well happen!
- Someone decided it would be funny to move Baldwin Breadwinner onto the pitching rotation of the Hawaii Fridays. And on a 0% chance, too.
- The Atlantis Georgias move Flattery McKinley onto their batting lineup. Again. They did this last election and then Reverb said nope and put Flattery back onto the rotation immediately. From what I can tell, for them this failure at getting “Battery McKinley” has gone all the way around frustrating and landed in absurd.
- The Core Mechanics and the New York Millenials were competing quite heavily for AAA blood. It went to the Dallas Steaks. On a 2% chance.
- The Yellowstone Magic got zero benefit out of winning Gloves Supply Run because all their item slots were already full from a Shoes Supply Run, which is a hilarious order-of-operations flub and/or more evidence that the sim hates them.
And that isn’t even all of it, I just had to stop somewhere.
In light of all this, the Spies losing our Transfuse to the Shadows apparently counts as getting off light, this election.
I’m going to be honest: I have no damn clue what our prospects for next season are.
Our players are the ones who are psychic. I’m not.