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Debriefings

A RAP FROM JASPER BLATHER

filed by MC Jazzy B, apparently…? audio rendition How’s it hanging, secret agents? Just joshing- I know that info’s classified. But what isn’t classified is a news update from your fresh-faced roam-dog MC Jazzy B! So how about it, fans? Ready to get briefed on all the news that’s fit to spit? Here we go! […]
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Debriefings

SPIES… UNWIN?

audio version Three documents lay haphazardly on the desk before you. One has had several additions hastily scribbled in with a ballpoint pen. Another is a skewed photocopy. A third is stapled upside-down. Decrees filed by y The election results were prefaced with the appearance of the Coin, who seemed about the fans disregarding her […]
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Debriefings

WHY IS BNN?

filed by kit audio version Today marked the finals of the Season 18 Internet League. Our champions from the Wild league, The Flowers. From the Mild, The Mechanics. Nobody had predicted this, not even At first, it was tense, with The Flowers taking the game with a shame at the bottom of the tenth inning, […]
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Debriefings

OKAY, I GUESS THE GODS JUST HATE US THEN

filed by O audio version (halfway through) I think we need to perform a postmortem. Spies lost. The Way Everything Broke So: we were clear first or second in Wild for almost the whole season, and then lost 8 of the last 10 games we lost all three games against the Dale on days 97, […]
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Debriefings

THIS SEEMS FAMILIAR

filed by O audio version Our final record for this season is 61 to 38. Fourth seed in Wild, currently in the wildcard round of playoffs as I write this. And – as the saying goes – better than the Dale, . Wildcard Time The Flowers are first seed in the Wild League (thanks to […]
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Debriefings

THE COIN MAKES A MAFIA BOSS THREAT

filed by Agent O audio version What. (In the last unknowable unit of time we have won 15 games and 10.) Consumers, Again The league continues to sink, and we have a consumer-warning dot. We know what Consumers do when they attack Scattered players now. We know this because a certain – erm, –j- -erf-f–e […]
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Debriefings

GIFT AS GOOD AS YOU GET

filed by L audio link Agents, our reprieve the last two seasons may have been short-lived: over the last we have won 13 games and 12. Midseason Prospects Fortunately, our earlier efforts leave us on top of Wild Low for now, tied with the Tigers for Wild supremacy. Meanwhile, the Pies have taken a commanding […]
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Debriefings

THE READER’S ALLEGIANCES

filed by Oaudio version Good , fellow Agents. The Spies are presently doing exceptionally well: in the past we have won 16 games and 2. Meanwhile, during the Earlsiesta, we found out that Spies Win! Our 23-6 non-losses-to-losses record is only rivaled by the Pies’ 25-4… and two of the games the Pies lost, in […]
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Debriefings

THE PLAN PROVIDES

filed by Oaudio version Welcome to Season 18, Agents. It seems that Birds+ – a renovation we got last time mostly just because none of our other renovations looked good – may well prove useful after all. This is part of The Plan because we have won 7 games, 4, and Comfort Septemberish was Shelled. […]
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Debriefings

LOOSE ENDS

filed by Oaudio version Season 18 of Blaseball will begin… tomorrow? Today? Some Housekeeping As Agent O, I’ve written nearly all the debriefs since the Grand Siesta. I’m still going to write most of them, but I’m going to be delegating the Wednesday and Friday ones . I would like to put at least some […]