Author: Agent B

Well, Spies, we have made it past the postseason. I say “past” because we were in fact in our five-game series against the Lovers in the playoffs. Congratulations to the Lovers. Naturally, the championship was not a simple, straight-forward event. Following yet another showdown between the Shoe Thieves and the Crabs, the Crabs secured the […]

Well, Spies. We are in the playoffs once more. Our victory is ; once again, we taste the thrill of a season well-played, but we face many potential threats: the , the threat of , and . But we press on, Spies, as we always do. There is no way but forward, no path that […]

We are officially in the playoffs, Spies. Of course, this carries new meaning now that we know what awaits us following the final championship game: a battle with the Shelled One, from which players return than they were before. We would dearly love to taste the sweet nectar of a championship, but given this season’s […]

Good morning, Spies. We hope this new format pleases you. If it does not please you, you may file the appropriate Grievance Reports to the dropbox in Office B of Wing 7A. We are always listening. Our reversal seems to have taken hold, as we have 16 wins to 8 over the past . The […]

Another , another Wednesday, and once again we see an upset in our progress. For once, however, this upset has worked in our favor. Our record over the past is 15 wins to eight , an improvement over our previous string of ties. But we are not yet ready to celebrate, Spies. This season’s weather […]

Spies, I advise you to not look at the standings right now. There has been a shift in the universe; a corruption the likes of which we have never seen before. . Our agents are seeking the cause—a rift in the fabric of the universe, a tear in spacetime, a curse buried in the foundation […]

Welcome to Season Ten, Spies. Another election, another blessings for the Spies. Though we did benefit from the Sunbeams winning Mutually Arising (a 2% buff for all Wild Low teams), we were also hit with Fifth Base thanks to the Crabs. Several weather decrees also passed, limiting our weather this season to Birds, Blooddrain, and […]

The Shoe Thieves won the championship with a beautiful triple in the bottom of the ninth, in the fifth game of a five-game series. We’re very happy for them, and look forward to playing them in the championships next season, when we will have become unstoppable, obviously. Shoe Thieves won the championship, we lost to […]

Once again, we have made the playoffs. Once again, . But we press on, dedication to our mission always taking precedence. Our record over the previous is exactly even—six wins, six . This is not accounting for our performance in the playoffs, which will hopefully be great. The Election is tomorrow, and we hope that […]

Welcome to the playoffs, Spies. I will not say that the previous was uninteresting because every moment of Blaseball is interesting, what with the constant threat of Feedback, Reverb, Incerations, and untold horrors besides. Regardless, not much happened to the Spies yesterday, other that we yet again won 15 games and nine. Oh. We have […]