Welcome to Season 11, Spies. To attempt to sum up the events of the previous in a short, digestible format is a fool’s errand. First, and perhaps most pressing, is the Ascension of the Crabs. We have finally seen Ascension—the Crabs have been Called Up to a higher purpose, one that remains yet a mystery […]
Category: Debriefings
Daily recaps and summaries of Blaseball and the stories that surround it, to help newer agents learn our history and older agents remember our past.
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A Message From Your Morale Officer
This championship and election is Great News! for the Spies: We were the top votes for a blessing for once! (Partly with help from other teams!)Our operation forced the Game Band to liberate ALL the Pods players just to make us Spies look incompetent! Nice!Since our operation no longer required the PBA blessing, it ended […]
Well, Spies, we have made it past the postseason. I say “past” because we were in fact in our five-game series against the Lovers in the playoffs. Congratulations to the Lovers. Naturally, the championship was not a simple, straight-forward event. Following yet another showdown between the Shoe Thieves and the Crabs, the Crabs secured the […]
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WE ARE ALL HATE TILLMAN HENDERSON
Well, Spies. We are in the playoffs once more. Our victory is ; once again, we taste the thrill of a season well-played, but we face many potential threats: the , the threat of , and . But we press on, Spies, as we always do. There is no way but forward, no path that […]
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PLEASE STOP DRINKING OUR BLOOD
We are officially in the playoffs, Spies. Of course, this carries new meaning now that we know what awaits us following the final championship game: a battle with the Shelled One, from which players return than they were before. We would dearly love to taste the sweet nectar of a championship, but given this season’s […]
Good morning, Spies. We hope this new format pleases you. If it does not please you, you may file the appropriate Grievance Reports to the dropbox in Office B of Wing 7A. We are always listening. Our reversal seems to have taken hold, as we have 16 wins to 8 over the past . The […]
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WEDNESDAY STRIKES AGAIN
Another , another Wednesday, and once again we see an upset in our progress. For once, however, this upset has worked in our favor. Our record over the past is 15 wins to eight , an improvement over our previous string of ties. But we are not yet ready to celebrate, Spies. This season’s weather […]
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REST IN VIOLENCE, AGENT BENITEZ
Spies, I advise you to not look at the standings right now. There has been a shift in the universe; a corruption the likes of which we have never seen before. . Our agents are seeking the cause—a rift in the fabric of the universe, a tear in spacetime, a curse buried in the foundation […]
Welcome to Season Ten, Spies. Another election, another blessings for the Spies. Though we did benefit from the Sunbeams winning Mutually Arising (a 2% buff for all Wild Low teams), we were also hit with Fifth Base thanks to the Crabs. Several weather decrees also passed, limiting our weather this season to Birds, Blooddrain, and […]
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GO SPIES, I GUESS
The Shoe Thieves won the championship with a beautiful triple in the bottom of the ninth, in the fifth game of a five-game series. We’re very happy for them, and look forward to playing them in the championships next season, when we will have become unstoppable, obviously. Shoe Thieves won the championship, we lost to […]